It's 8:05 pm, and I survived Day 5. I'm actually feeling pretty good. I went to the grocery store for a few additional things I had forgotten, and I was so tempted by the smells of the bakery. It was a true test of will to not shove 17 muffins in my mouth all at once. After I gained some composure and kept shopping, the urge for baked goods passed rather quickly.
While walking the dogs this morning in Tubac, we saw a bunch of people sitting on the patio of the local coffee shop. They were laughing and enjoying coffee and baked goods and egg sandwiches and such. I almost pouted, "But I want to sit at a coffee shop and sip coffee with cream and eat croissants and cheese danish until someone has to move me off the patio with a crane. I do! I do! I really, really do!" Part of it is wanting or craving a baked good, but part of it is just the ease with which these people go out, order food, and shovel food into face. Here I am making my own freaking ketchup for a lamb burger, no bun, so that my fat ass won't be so fat anymore and so that I can be healthy and active, but for a split second this morning, I just wanted life to be easier. I shook it off and moved on, and I actually feel better tonight that I am cooking and taking care of myself and planning and being prepared. So, I have been developing mental strategies for getting over those pity parties and cravings.
Here are some other things I learned today:
1. I can't follow a recipe. I was all excited about making mayonaisse. I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm eating a sandwich and need to put mayo on the bread. For one..no bread! For two...try finding lunch meat without added sugar! Fuggedaboutit. I'm making chicken salad later this week, and I do need mayo for that, but that doesn't really justify the excitement I felt at whipping up my own condiment.
I put part of the oil and the egg in the Ninja blender. I added a bit of mustard powder and salt like the recipe said. I slowly started to put in the remainder of olive oil while the blender blended, and it all worked! It worked like a charm. The only problem is it tasted like a crap biscuit covered in crap.
This can't be right! Everyone said the mayo tasted like heaven! Creamy, mayonaisse heaven! I'm doomed! Everything in this book is going to taste like garbage, isn't it? Everything!!!! My life is a lie!
Oh, what's that? The paragraph before the recipe saying don't use extra virgin olive oil because the flavor is too strong and will make nasty mayo? Oh...ok. I see. My life isn't a lie. I just didn't read all the directions. Back to the mayo drawing board tomorrow with a lighter Whole30 approved oil.
2. Don't eat breakfast too far in advance of a big swim workout. I swam for over an hour today, and I was hungry for a good 45 minutes of that swim. I had eaten breakfast too early and dawdled at the house before getting to the pool, resulting in hungry swim. No fun. I was smart enough to pack bonus, post-workout meal because I was leaving for errands right after the pool, though. So, I wasn't a total failure this morning. I was just a hungry, partial failure.
3. It never ceases to amaze me that 10 cups of spinach and kale can cook down to 1 cup of food in less than 10 minutes. It also makes me wonder what would happen to me if I ate the whole cup of reduced spinach/kale mix in one sitting. I would never eat 10 cups of that in one sitting in a salad, for example. Would some gastro blasto happen if I ate it all after it cooked down? I'm not going to find out today, but I do wonder.
All in all, I'm feeling good. I'm having fewer Craig cry fests. I feel way more prepared food-wise to tackle this week, and I have a couple of good fall-back items I can always order from my local diner if push comes to shove and I need food fast.
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