Today is Day 19? Really? Holy cow! It's Day 19! I have been doing ok the last few days until today. I'm eating too much fruit and probably too many pumpkin seeds, but otherwise, I've been sticking to the plan. I realize I need to find some recipes to make a dish...like food that is mixed together with spices and some kind of sauce maybe. I've been cooking a protein and a side vegetable and eating that. I'm getting bored. I did get lucky today when lunch at a conference in Phoenix worked out, and I had compliant salad and roast beef. Hooray for a conference actually working out meal wise! I was prepared to eat an RX bar and some pumpkin seeds for lunch, but I don't think I would have lasted the day and would have ended up eating a cookie sandwich with cookies on top.
I had a few rough moments today. One: pre-drive tea from the Starbucks in the Fry's Grocery. Go into Fry's for a Starbucks at 6:45 am, and your brain will be assaulted with the smell of freshly baked donuts. F-ing donuts. Two: Breakfast at the conference. I ate hardboiled eggs and an apple on my way to the meeting because I knew going in even remotely hungry would be death. There were the requisite pastries. Muffins and cinnamon rolls! Be still my heart! I was already feeling weak from denying myself earlier at the Fry's. This was almost too much. Three: There were also cookies with the lunch. After smelling the breakfast treats all morning and then being hungry for lunch, I almost took the entire plate of cookies and ate them myself, be damned what anyone else at this meeting thought of me devouring all the cookies. I doubled down on the salad instead.
The worst part of the day was late this afternoon, however. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store for supplies for dinner and breakfast. If smells could talk.... Even at 4:30 pm, I could smell the baked goods calling my name. After denying myself all day, I looked longingly towards the donut rack and almost had a meltdown. "Screw it! I'm just going to have one donut or maybe three, but that will be it. Just donuts for today! Please! What day am I on of this plan anyway? I'm sure it's still so early that I can have a donut and donut's hefty cousin, Mr. Muffin, and just start over tomorrow." The wheels on the justification train were working overtime.
That's when I realized it's already Day 19. You can't have a donut on Day 19. I've come too far. Having a donut on Day 19 is like running a marathon and just stopping right when you hit mile 24. Who does that? Sure, maybe people who completely bonk and fall down and pass out and can't go on. Those people stop a marathon at mile 24, but I wasn't falling down yet, and I certainly hadn't puked on the side of the road like people in a marathon. No puking, no donut! Ok, I might have taken the analogy too far, but you get what I'm saying.
So, I came home sans donuts. I cooked pizza egg cups for dinner, and I also browned taco meat for dinners this weekend. Tomorrow I'll make tuna salad and do the lettuce wraps again for lunch. I also need to only eat one piece of fruit tomorrow. I will have my apple with breakfast. No berries, no afternoon cantaloupe gorge-fest, and no nuts or seeds tomorrow. I think I'm having too many of those as well.
My weight is holding steady. Yes, I'm weighing myself. I think that is because of the fruit and nut butters. So, we will hold off on those things over the weekend and see how it goes. It might also help reduce my donut cravings.
And yes, I'm still pissed about the fact that these are the kinds of things I have to think about, and I can't just be the person that goes to a meeting, has the muffin, and doesn't gain 75 pounds.
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