to sleep perchance to dream

I have been on a mattress quest.  I currently have a queen bed, and with the alert that my grandmother and my aunt may be coming to visit in the next few months, I have decided to buy a king bed to move the current bed into the guest room. 

Truth number 1 about shopping for a mattress:  It is insanely fraught with too many options.  Memory foam, latex foam, pillow top, double-sided pillow top, individually wrapped coils, quilting, regular or low profile box spring, firm, medium, soft, plush, double plush, double dutch plush. 

Geez.  I just want a bed that makes me feel all warm and squishy and sleepy.  Which bed is that? 

The search has been doubly complicated by reading online reviews, listening to the advice of friends, and stumbling on this whole world of luxury mattresses that I never knew existed.  I thought the Westin Heavenly Bed was irrationally expensive with its $2,400 price tag, including frame, a mattress cover, and delivery.  Then I read about the Shifman, the Hydro, and all the mattresses that are hand sewn, cashmere covered, gold dipped, and stuffed with hand spun wool from the most beautiful and delicate of wool-bearing animals in the whole world.  Crap. 

I have discovered that some people pay $5,000, $15,000, even $30,000 for a mattress set.  Do they give you that much better of a sleep experience than a regular mattress?  Do they last forever?  Do they appreciate in value?  It is best not to even attempt to try one of these mattresses.  If they are better, a million times better than a regular mattress, then I will just be depressed that I will never own one.  Even if I won the lottery, I don't think I could bring myself to pay that much for a mattress. 

In my current economic downturn, I cannot imagine affording a mattress on the low end of the high-end mattress universe.  If I did buy one, I would expect it comes with my own personal on-call masseuse.  FOREVER.  And the masseuse would have to also do dishes, change my 8,900 thread count sheets, and shave my legs for me.  Seriously. 

So, maybe I will go on a mattress-trying excursion this weekend.  I am sure that actually trying a mattress is a better strategy than shopping online and reading mountains of mixed reviews. 

I am sleepy just thinking about it.