The List. The Ever-Growing List

I have an ongoing list of things to deal with related to my house.  This list is in addition to the normal things that must be done, like cleaning the floor or using the vacuum.  Some of the things are not pressing but need to be done at some point. Other things are improvements that I may or may not get to in the distant future.  I would cry but I'm too busy continuously adding things to the list that I don't have time to cry. 

I have contacted the Oxford English Dictionary people to explain that the following list should be the new official definition of "home ownership":

Replace hot water heater
Redo tile in guest shower
Replace screens in 3 windows, 2 doors
Overhead lighting in living room
Replace garage door
Haul broken outside furniture to dump
Cat door to save cat from being eaten by dogs
Remove wallpaper
Remove popcorn ceiling
Reseal tile in kitchen
Have carpet cleaned
Chimney Sweep
Order fire wood
New flooring in guest area
Repaint everywhere
Buy furniture (which has its own sub-list)
Replace guest toilet
Reseal pool
Landscape
Landscape more
Landscape again
Remove weird carpet glued to bar area
French doors, 2 places
Install wood stove
Have furnace checked
Order propane
Get rid of awful curtains
Re screen porch
Fix door on screened-in porch
Organize crap in garage left by old owners
Go through boxes of cleaners, sealing goop, etc... left by old owners
Remove bizarre kitchen shelf feature
Get ac unit in bedroom fixed
Replace door in back
Get file cabinet to organize mountains of home-related paperwork
Sand and reseal counter top
Replace kitchen sink
Order size-appropriate fireplace screens
WTF with the weird electrical outlet in the middle of my floor?
Remove weird half-wall stupid bedroom thingy
Fix pocket door
Skylight handle?
Trim tree from over fireplace
Pump for fountain
Tear down fake room lean-to thing
Goodbye fake well
More outside lighting
Outdoor shower area
Fix fence
Fix sun-shade area
Rotten porch beams
Descale toilet bowl rings
Replace guest sink faucet
Rat traps