Ok. We will get the Whole30 discussion out of the way first. My
first Whole 30 went well for the most part, even though I didn't lose
weight. I still felt better and noticed benefits to my health that go
beyond weight loss. And truthfully, it was probably closer to a
successful Whole28. F-ing donuts.
Now I'm 12 days
into my second Whole 30. I have probably been 80 percent complaint. I
traveled two days to PHX, and now I'm in Chicago for four days.
Sigh...travel is a real challenge for me still. I also still haven't
given up all fruit. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY FRUIT! And that's a clear sign that I need to give it up. "My
precious....don't make me give up my precious!" I'm not quite as bad as Smeagul from Lord of the Rings, but I'm close.
I arrived in Chicago today for
a work gig. It will be busy and annoyingly hard to eat well when I'm
in meetings and on the go. Tonight I went and bought some apples, I
packed some compliant bars and almond butter, and I also have a baggy of
pumpkin seeds. That should help in a pinch, but my meals are probably
not going to be perfect. Lunch today was a sandwich. Not great. Dinner
was salmon and green beans...better. Of course those fig newtons I had
for dessert didn't do me any favors.
My goal for
this trip is to make more better decisions than bad and try to have two
compliant meals a day. We will see how it goes.
I am
still avoiding legumes and dairy, for the record. There might have been
a bit of butter on the green beans tonight, but not a ton. There was probably some added sugar in the marinade for the fish, I had a sandwich and fig newtons....
Still, I am avoiding legumes and dairy minus the very rare instances of
butter in things. I might eat the occasional sandwich or fig newton, but I gotta draw the line somewhere!
And this leads me to airport shenanigans. It was so odd that I have to share. I had to leave for Chicago on a 5:30 am flight. That means I had to get up at 2:00 am, get ready, feed and take Taz out, feed cats, etc.... and still leave the house by 3:30 am to get to Tucson by 4:30 am. When it's that early, my body isn't quite all the way awake, you know? I'm functioning, but certain functions aren't quite all systems go.
After an hour drive, when I arrive at the airport around the time I would normally be waking up, my guts decided to wake up and greet the day too. Yep. I had to go to the bathroom, and I was on a mission. Thank goodness I was parking at the airport when my guts decided it was time to go, but for the record, I guess I DID have a suitcase full of clean clothes in case there had been a major catastrophe (like my last bathroom story that involved me walking in the middle of nowhere along the train tracks. I digress.)
If you aren't familiar with the Tucson airport, there is the perfect bathroom for a 4:30 am bowel movement. It's downstairs, right where you enter the airport, nestled in the back wall of the baggage claim area. There aren't ANY people in the baggage claim area at 4:30 am. It would just be me, some privacy, and a morning constitutional.
I'm walking pretty fast from the car into the airport, because there really is no time to dawdle. Plus, there is this weird psychological phenomenon that dictates that the closer you get to the bathroom, the more you really gotta go to the bathroom. Walk, walk, walk, walk...focus, focus, focus, focus.
I walked into the bathroom to see three people at the sinks. WHAT?! How dare they be in my public airport bathroom! Oh well, there was no time to change course now. I initially thought they were in the process of clearing out anyway. I mean, come on! They were at the sinks! Wash up and get out already!
Except this wasn't any normal bathroom stop for this crew. Two older ladies were traveling with a kid who might have been 10 or 12 years old, and from what I could gather, this little girl was in the middle of a hysterical crying fit.
At first I thought something awful had happened to her. She's sobbing, and the main woman in charge kept saying, "It's ok. She's ok. She's safe and sound," as I'm trying to be as quiet as possible but it's not working out so well. ppfffftttttt.
Oh my gosh! Something awful happened to this kid, and she's going to remember some woman in the bathroom letting er rip. Seriously? Is this my life? pppfffffttttt. Evidently. The problem with an almost-empty bathroom is there isn't enough background noise to disguise what you're up to in the stall. In a busy bathroom there are lots of flushing sounds, sinks running, people talking, etc... and you can almost be disguised. In an almost-empty bathroom, sound carries, and EVERYONE knows it was you. You either want a super crowded bathroom or one that is completely empty. I had the worst case scenario.
The main woman keeps saying, "It's ok. She's safe and sound," in a loud voice. "You're just stressed, but it's ok. Safe and sound." I am so sorry I'm pooting it up while you comfort your granddaughter that probably had to bury her mother or her best friend from school or her other grandmother. The way she is wailing, something profoundly awful has happened in this family. My god. I'm an awful person having a big pooh through their misery and sorrow.
Then she starts saying that the cab driver will be there soon, and they can get the stuffed item out of the cab that the girl left behind. I'm stuck in this public bathroom with the crying girl and her weird family because of a stuffed doll left in a cab????!! All bets were off. ppppffffffhhhhttttttttt. ppphhhhfftt pppttttfffpppp.
This weird situation continues for another minute as the woman is still chanting, "It's ok. Safe and sound. Safe and sound." After a few repetitions of this, she starts whispering the same thing. It's creepy, "Safe and sound. saaaaffeeeeee and sound."
And my guts give one last final, "pppfffftttttttt...."
The other woman starts saying, "Think calming thoughts. Calming thoughts" while lady one continues her "Safe and sound" mantra. These people are killing me!!!! The kids starts to get her hysterical sobbing under control, and I start thinking, "Can you please leave now so I can exit this stall, wash my hands, and carry on with my day without having to face you weirdos?"
No. No they couldn't. No. Such. Luck. So, I walk out, look at all three of them, wash my hands, and proceed to go and check in for my flight. Safe and sound. I'm safe and sound.
That is hilarious 😂
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