What's that, you say? Where Have I Been?

Oh my gawd, ya'll! I have a blawg! *blush*  So, yeah.  I took two years off.  What are  you gonna do about it? Sue me?  I can say I was doing hard time for assault and battery, I took time off to dabble in Scientology, or I was so overwhelmed with my home business of knitting pen holders that it has taken me two years to catch up and hire a team of knitters to help build my empire, but that would all be false.  Falsey false false.  I have just been a procrastinating laze bag of procrastination and laziness. 

I was reading my last post from March 2013 and had to laugh.  It talked about the desire to buy plants and make the yard pretty and do all kinds of projects to have an amazing garden of joy and delight.  I was JUST doing this over the weekend.  "Ohhhhh.  I do so love some flowers.  Allison, let's buy flowers," I told myself.  "I SWEAR I'll be better this year.  I DOUBLE SWEAR I will water the plants and love them and tend to them like they were the baby Jesus come to take us all to heaven." 

The reason I didn't post on my blog in March 2014 was because I was doing all those things!  I planted 18 roses, other assorted flowers, some decorative grasses, and a hibiscus.  Oh man, the hibiscus was a beauty!  I was Allison Green Thumb.  I officially turned over a new leaf.  I was singing and the birds were chirping happily around my head and landing on my shoulders in song and shit.  La la la....tra la la la la. 

The reason I didn't post in September of 2014 was because I was busy pulling out all the plants I had killed since March. How many years do I have to do this to myself?  I could have retired and purchased an island in the Caribbean for what I've spent on plants that ultimately die once they cross my property boundary. 

In other news, my roof leaks.  So yeah....that's cool.  Owning a house is awesome, and by awesome I mean it sucks all the joy out of living.  This year I'm spending plant money on roof repair and drywall fixins.  Maybe that's how the universe is trying to intervene to save all the helpless little plants I would have killed this year.