Well, I was doing well, making better food decisions, all things that made me feel better, and then I let it slip. I had a work trip, and since I was low on groceries, I just didn't bother. I had my birthday while on the work trip and didn't eat well. On my return from the work trip I didn't get to the store right away, and I had a second birthday complete with homemade ice cream and delicious cake, and WHAM! It was clear to me that I felt awful. This morning I woke up hungry and grouchy. I yelled at the dogs and yelled at myself and was generally a grouch. I ate a couple of hard boiled eggs and some almond butter, and I could FEEL myself feeling better, coming out of the grouchy sugar hangover.
Who do I want to be? A grouchy, sluggish, ass or someone who is actually happy, rational, healthy, and that feels good? As tempting as it is to sit on my ass eating donuts with a side of donuts, I just don't want to feel awful. So, I went to the store today and purchased food for the week.
I went back and made the chicken shawarma recipe that I made early on in my first Whole30. It smells amazing, and I will be eating that with lettuce and tomato this week. I also cooked cabbage, which I love, and I will be steaming some broccoli.
I will be making the Pioneer Woman's pot roast this week as well with onions and carrots and baked potatoes. So that should take care of several days of lunch and dinner. Breakfast will be eggs and spinach or the steamed broccoli with a side of blueberries.
I remember reading a study once about succeeding in weight loss or other goals. There has always been this theory that by sharing your successes with people or having people comment on changes they see in you that you are more likely to succeed in reaching your goals. This study actually showed that the act of celebrating small successes or having people tell you you're doing great would actually undermine your determination to continue. It was like you were already celebrating even though you didn't get to the finish line.
I have always had this problem where I would have really great momentum in eating well or at least in eating to lose weight until the moment where I didn't have any momentum left. If I had to guess, it seems that it's usually about a third of the way through whatever goal I have. Once momentum dies, I revert to old habits, sabotage myself, and basically give up. I often wonder what is that point? What is the switch that flips? Is there something inherent in my humanness that says, "You've got this much time to do well. After that, we're packing it in and going home."
So, with that said, I look back at the Whole30 and remember how doable it was and how just setting myself up to succeed by cooking and being prepared and having a plan kept me on track. I looked at what I have been eating and how I have been feeling the last few days. It was basically some good choices with intermittent horrible, addictive choices mixed in. I told my friend Oldie today that toast is just a gateway drug....a gateway to other things like donuts and cake and sugary horribleness.
Thinking I'm too busy to plan or that I'll just go ahead and write off today and do better tomorrow leads to choices that actually physically make me feel not good. Why would I treat myself that way when it's easy to actually plan ahead and be prepared so that I feel good?
These are all things I'm thinking about and trying to figure out. At the same time, I'm cooking and setting myself up to succeed this week. Here's to figuring out why I do the things I do.
